Stay safe this Summer, Oppo

"KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time" (kngt) 07/18/2018 at 12:48 • Filed to: the onion, shitpost, shitposting, satire

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Beware the Golbalist Cabal trying to ruin your vacation

Urambo Tauro > KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time 07/18/2018 at 12:38

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YOU’LL NEVER SHUT DOWN THE REAL NAPSTER

Ash78, voting early and often > KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time 07/18/2018 at 12:38

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For being the Illuminati, the room sure is dark.

KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time > Ash78, voting early and often 07/18/2018 at 12:40

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We operate in the shadows. You won’t see, hear or know it but the attack will come and strike when you least suspect it

facw > KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time 07/18/2018 at 12:40

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They seem to have mislabeled Chris Christie as “The Deep State”  

KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time > facw 07/18/2018 at 12:42

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Whatchyu talkin abaout? He was not even there. He is a dedicated family man taking time off to enjoy at the beach

Future next gen S2000 owner > KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time 07/18/2018 at 12:44

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If I always suspect it, does that mean it won’t ever come because I won’t ever have a least suspected moment?

KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time > Urambo Tauro 07/18/2018 at 12:44

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TRIGERRED!

KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time > Future next gen S2000 owner 07/18/2018 at 12:48

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Just because you are paranoid, doesn’t mean they aren’t out to get ya. Better w ear this one for Maximum Protection tho

ttyymmnn > KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time 07/18/2018 at 12:55

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I was going to post a GIF of this, but really, you have to have the whole thing.

fintail > KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time 07/18/2018 at 13:11

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The best part is apparently millions of voters probably think this is true .

unclevanos (Ovaltine Jenkins) > KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time 07/18/2018 at 13:15

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Beached whale on NJ beach

Colorized 2017

I have another burner, try to guess it! > KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time 07/18/2018 at 13:16

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By the "Deep State" they really mean "Minecraft Youtubers" right? 

unclevanos (Ovaltine Jenkins) > fintail 07/18/2018 at 13:20

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Very fine people ™

KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time > I have another burner, try to guess it! 07/18/2018 at 13:37

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No, it’s her Emails. Hillary’s emails have literally manifested themselves into a sentient entity powered by the dark web and works in close conjunction with the Zionists to subject us to totalitarian rule.

KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time > fintail 07/18/2018 at 13:39

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Since November 2016, the Onion has ceased to be a satire website. It is the news.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > unclevanos (Ovaltine Jenkins) 07/18/2018 at 14:04

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I saw him in NYC last month, fucking hell but he looks like shit. He definitely doesn’t take care of himself, even his t-shirt collar was stretched. 

unclevanos (Ovaltine Jenkins) > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. 07/18/2018 at 14:55

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Yeah that gastric bypass surgery has done nothing for him

wafflesnfalafel > KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time 07/18/2018 at 16:17

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We’ve got some relatives coming out next month from more rural  areas - want to drive all over, see the city sights, etc, etc. We have tactfully suggested the y check our DOT website before they go anywhere. They didn’t realize - “well, once rush hour is over it should be fine, right?” Well, rush hour runs from 6 AM to 7PM so you are going to be waiting a while...